The Start of a Story…

Hey there, Badgers!  (Are you liking this or is it too much??)

Recently, I decided to write a story based on a phrase that had just popped into my head at a random time.  I now have a little collection of these prompt-type things on my laptop, and I also have a few pictures!  I thought I’d share one that I did, based on the phrase “She stared at the intricate gold ring on her finger…”.  Hope you enjoy!


She stared at the intricate gold ring on her finger, tracing the circumference of the plaited metal circle.  Out of her large set of siblings and cousins, it was she who had received their grandmother’s most prized possession.  It was bemusing, she thought, how she, the youngest of her generation, had been trusted with this great treasure.  Sure, she was responsible, at least that’s what her parents had always said, but it didn’t make sense.  She had cousins nearly twice her age, for goodness’ sake.

She slipped the ring off her finger and placed it carefully inside her small, pale blue jewellery box, being sure not to let it go until the shining metal touched the soft, silky material inside.  Some things weren’t worth worrying about, at least not right now.


If you want to finish it off and send it to me to have a look, please feel free (thank you to my friend for suggesting this)!  Also, I would love to know what your honest opinions are in the comments section, and any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!  This is just a first draft, and it was just sitting around on my laptop, so I thought I’d share it.  And, hey, if I ever become a published author (lol no), I’ll have this saved on the internet for as long as I please!

xx Elly xx

 

 

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10 thoughts on “The Start of a Story…

  1. I think it’s really good. One thing I would change is when describing the jewelry box is to it like ‘placed it carefully inside her pale blue jewellery box,’ or vice versa.
    I really like it (:

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The attention to detail when you are describing something is very vivid. I like how you only touched upon the back story, rather than falling for the mistake of overloading the reader in the first paragraph (that always bothers me).
    The only thing that I would change is the amount of commas in one sentence.
    Apart from that, even though this is a very small extract, I enjoyed this and definitely became hooked.
    Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

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